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(stop a falling bomb)

[08 Mar 2005|01:17am]

[ mood | curious ]

There's something about the way my inspiration has a hand wrapped so tight around my throat that makes me smile. It's a smile of distain and wonder. Wonder how I got this far. Mishaps happen, and this happens to be a big fucking mishap. No wonder the sunrise blinded me to the point of crashing my car into objects as immovable as they are inanimate. Anyone you can walk away from is a good one they say, so I count my lucky stars and try to pluck them from the sky. I used to want to keep them in a jar, but they too would blind and choke me. Something about the way my inspiration has a hand wrapped around my throat.............

(7 "hero" has tried to "heroes" have tried to | stop a falling bomb)

[26 Jul 2004|08:01pm]

[ mood | contemplative ]

ok i have a random question for everyone in here

Read more...Collapse )

(5 "hero" has tried to "heroes" have tried to | stop a falling bomb)

[20 Jul 2004|06:52pm]

[ mood | bored ]

im new
on to the requisite boring introduction
All the razor perceptions that cut just a little too deepCollapse )

(stop a falling bomb)

Survey for you to do [02 Jun 2004|12:15pm]

We have a project to do and we have to get people to fill out a survey. I figured it would be fun to get you people to do it because you always have educated opinions on things.
So If you're reading this comment with your answers and it would be a big help.
1. What is the defining characteristic of a human being? (Explain)

2. a) Does freewill exist?
b) If so deos it make us who we are?
c) If it were gone would we still be human?

3. Are the mentally ill/challenged still human?

4. Are people who lack compassion (ie rapists and serial killers) still human?

5. What does it mean to be human?

(2 "hero" has tried to "heroes" have tried to | stop a falling bomb)

[07 Apr 2004|04:57am]

[ mood | irritated ]

I ran my fingers through her hair and though about all the things I want to say but can't. At the edges I feel like I am frayed, I look at her hands and think she could make it all come together, if only she would braid. Something rips through the very heart of the echo I produce, like evaporating water I feel slightly reduced... To writing in some computerized journal instead of using my head to tell my mouth to tell her the words that want to come out and be made nothing short of forgotten. Twenty minutes later I am accused of being a liar, maybe I try too hard, maybe my hands are not the stable pillars I once thought them to be. "You are not real" she says, she does not mean that I am too good to be true. This gets to me because I know not how it is I am being fake, plastic, or anything but the man I was raised to be. Someone please tell someone else that I did my best because nothing I have said is taken at face value. One day... It'll all work and the gears will not be jammed.

(5 "hero" has tried to "heroes" have tried to | stop a falling bomb)

[30 Jan 2004|11:18pm]

Have you ever noticed how often it seems we're meetingt he right person at the wrong time or in the wrong way?
--the end

(2 "hero" has tried to "heroes" have tried to | stop a falling bomb)

story i wrote [29 Jan 2004|07:44pm]

[ mood | contemplative ]

earlier this year i wrote a story for my english class about utopia..and...idunno, i guess i want to know what you guys think of it..so...here it is:

Sooner or Later

The jungle was dense and sweet-smelling. If he ever got hungry, the astronaut mused that the fleshy leaves of the predominant vegetation would serve as a decent meal, but he must have been in shock from the crash—it had been days and he wasn’t hungry. He didn’t remember where or when he’d taken off his shoes, but he realized now how soothing the moist grass felt between his toes. Any kind of solid ground would have felt heavenly after those months floating weightlessly around in the capsule, but this reminded him of his boyhood summers; his delicate little feet, before they became calloused by manhood, on the grass of his grandfather’s land in Maine, chasing seagulls from the yard to the beach.
He pushed a cluster of leaves apart and peered into a clearing. He saw vividly in the night a luminescent pool reflecting blue and white in the moonlight. He approached the pool without caution, suddenly thirsty.
“Hmpf!” he exclaimed to his reflection in the water as he rubbed his chin. “No beard.” He splashed water onto his face and into his mouth. It was cool and sweet, better than any water back on Earth.
He closed his eyes and smiled. He was then flushed with an undeniable suspicion that someone else was in the clearing. He opened his eyes to discover a shadow at the far end of the pond.
He stood. “Hello! Is someone there?” He laughed. “This isn’t Star Trek; they wouldn’t know English,” he scolded himself aloud for his lapse into idiocy. The shadow shifted and was gone. He figured the moonlight was playing tricks on his eyes.
Moments later, he felt something; far too vague at first to place the sensation, but it grew into a rumble under his feet that rose up toward his belly and through to his temples. The ground beneath him grew brighter. It took on colors like an aurora. The light grew more intense, knocking him down. It traveled through him up into the sky and settled into the pond. His ears filled with sound—like the light, inaudible at first save a faint vibration, but it swelled into a sound so lovely it made him weep. Encompassed in this sound were the voices of everyone he’d ever known; every song he ever heard; every instrument known to man and some far too complex and beautiful to ever be manipulated by clumsy human hands.
In the sound were words, most definitely not English, yet his mind and his soul understood them. “Hello.”
“Hello,” he gasped, and chuckled a little at the simplicity of the greeting as he wiped the tears from his eyes.
There was a silence, then the music spoke to him again: “What is ‘God’?”
He was taken aback. The entity had read his mind. Moments before he had asked himself silently, Is this God?
“It’s hard to explain,” he explained, but he knew it was getting a detailed description from his thoughts.
“We understand,” it chimed, then paused. The light dimmed briefly. “You are not like us.”
“I see that,” the astronaut whispered. “What...what are you?”
Again the light flickered. “We are...everything.”
I don’t understand. After his mind uttered the phrase, the scenery changed. First it blurred and became brighter, took on the color and density of the entity itself. Then the light faded and the astronaut found himself lying on the beach in Maine on a cool day in early summer, the water lapping at his ankles. The scenery fazed out and in again, and he was in bed with Julia, rubbing her swollen belly. She moved his hand toward her navel, where he felt a soft thump. But it was vague, the memory of her stomach. There was no substance to it.
“Stop this!” he screamed and was back in the clearing, the light draining from all around him back into the water. “Get out of my head!”
The light dimmed again, more so than before. “That is anger. We were unaware of it.”
“Well you’re aware of it now, aren’t you?!” He began to start away, but it seemed that even the moon grew dark. He knew instinctively that the entity only wanted to make him happy; that it was incapable of anything else. He stood with his back to the pond, forgiving it silently, as his mind drifted to Julia.
“What is death?” the music inquired after a long silence. The astronaut remembered her hair. His wife had a halo of curls that bounced around her ears, so black that in the right light they took on a blue tint. Then he remembered her in the hospital, the bandana slipping too high on her forehead. He remembered holding her hand as her eyes closed... “Oh.” It knew now what death was. “We do not like that sensation.” The being meant the sadness that choked his throat shut.
“Yeah, well, neither do I.” There was another long pause. The light shifted in quality.
“Paul?” a voice—a real voice called to him, a hand fell on his shoulder and he felt its weight. Julia turned him to face her.
“Are you real?” He could only whisper.
“Yes, Paul,” she assured. He touched her hair.
“But how...”
“They’re everything, Paul. That includes us.” He looked back at the pond as his wife took his hand. He knew he was gazing at living energy; what humanity has grown to call the soul.
He turned back to Julia and her eyes were troubled. “What is it?”
“There’s something we should show you,” she answered. At the same moment he was with her and miles away. He was at the capsule, looking at himself lying in the wreckage. But he felt no pain. Part of him knew all along.
“What do I do now?” he whispered.
“Jump in,” she smiled. And he was standing on the jetty at his grandfather’s beach, a child again and yet still a man, looking down at Julia in the water, her freckled face beaming back at him. “Jump in, Paul! Come on! Paul!”
And so he did.

(4 "hero" has tried to "heroes" have tried to | stop a falling bomb)

[21 Jan 2004|12:07am]

[ mood | amused ]

okay so i'm talkin to a friend and we were catching up and stuff and i tell her i finally broke up with my bf and she asks me how long ago...i tell her new years eve and she commences to tell me how mean that is. is it just me or is breakin up supposed to be rough period? i dont know...i told her that the main thing is i got out of a bad relationship and it didnt matter when i did it. she still thinks i should've done it after new years...any comments?

(7 "hero" has tried to "heroes" have tried to | stop a falling bomb)

[20 Jan 2004|11:09pm]

[ mood | confused ]

Okay so this has been bothering me because the people I talk to don't seem to be able to give an opinion...so I'm bringing it here 'cause you guys are all good with giving helpful opinions.
Would you be worried if there was nothing holding you back from walking away from everything and everyone that you know and never looking back?
Or maybe I should say shouldn't you be worried....
Does it really make sense that the lack of ties could scare someone?

(2 "hero" has tried to "heroes" have tried to | stop a falling bomb)

pondering again... hehe [16 Jan 2004|11:12pm]

Maybe the old adage stating that nice guys finish last, is after my many doubts true. those pure of heart and mind seem unsettled, by great lengths of loneliness. maybe i could have had a few girl friends in the past year. but my heart for the longest time belonged to another.. Even with the conclusion of that act, no one was able to captivate my heart, which in turn made me refuse advances due to me only wanting a relationship where love existed.. The skies have spoken with the vacant blue space, unending yet beginning right in front of our eyes. The frost that collects on the window next to me is mere icing on the cake when compared to the frost which holds my heart. Does love ever die.. can you ever shake that emotion of not being with the one you love. does the pain ever subside when you see them and they are happy, and while you're glad they found the same thing you once felt you wonder if they will feel the pain you felt when it was stripped away. Timing played its part and emotion took the bullet this time.. the lights from the city below me flicker on the verge of death... maybe my heart is the same way.. I know someone will read this and pity me, when that which should be pitied is society and how awful it has become.. when you hear 15 yr olds asking each other if they have spread their legs for their boyfriends yet, you see that the world is no longer innocent in the slightest.. the one time hope you had is dashed by the bluntness of society in teaching its youth.. When pandora's box of emotions was opened it gave the following emotions knives to hunt the few good emotions down.. those with knives are as follows, lust, greed, selfishness, hate, and the emotion which does nothing but seek pleasure at all times, instant gratification. Over the years they have hunted down and killed innocence, and now they have cornered love and hope. Perhaps i can save them, but one man can do little in a world of many, perhaps they are beyond help and resuerrection is inevitable.. but have do you resurrect the dead when the living are hardly what they claim to be anyway... alive.. what good is emotion in a world where those who do their best to protect those around them from emotional suffering are shunned and left to fend for themselves... what more can this world do, fighting is a lost cause very little seems possible when you stare at the sun, its brightness doing nothing but blinding you. Maybe thats what we need is to be blind and not see the wickedness which is slowly surrounding us.. Hope and love may yet survive but only if we continue to believe in their existence.. even a frozen heart can tell you these emotions exist.. so why not take a chance and unfreeze it.. there may be no place in the world for them but nice "guys" continue to strive fighting daily for what they believe.. so with luck and a hope that has new life I will watch for my miracle because i figure im due for mine, God is behind me now all i need is that push in the right direction.. Words are useless now for they are drowned in a sea of blasphemy.. Hold on, hold tight, kiss your loved ones goodbye, because tomorrow this all changes

(12 "hero" has tried to "heroes" have tried to | stop a falling bomb)

§ [15 Jan 2004|05:49pm]

x-posted from __stopthehate from a few days ago...

wow. this thought came to me today in diversity class...
it gets me so angry when people are close-minded.
is this normal?

like today we got to the topic of beauty pageants
and how they're degrading to women.
but the boys didn't see it
they didn't even try to undertand how the girls felt.
they even said things like: "it measures the perfect female."
but then they didn't understand why girls feel the need to be that "perfect female."
ugh it just pisses me off.

so here's my question:
why do people, who claim to be open minded, act so closed-minded?
and why do they expect you to think the same way they do?
isn't that the opposite of open-mindedness?

i mean, seriously...
don't tell me to be something when you can't even do it yourself!
does that make sense?

kthxbye. ♥sarahlynn

(2 "hero" has tried to "heroes" have tried to | stop a falling bomb)

[13 Jan 2004|08:52pm]

[ mood | tired ]

ok..i'll bite-->

Name:: hannah brown
Age:: 17
Hometown:: meriden
Hair Color:: red...kinda like a penny
Eye Color:: i don't even know any more..they used to be blue...now they're confused.
Height:: 5' 5"
Siblings:: matt 22
Peircings:: 3 in left ear, 2 in right
Tattoos:: none yet

Color:: green, blue, pink, orange, black(a pseudo color, i know)
Song:: something -- the beatles...among many others..but that one makes me stop dead no matter what i'm doing
Movie:: dr. strangelove, the royal tenenbaums, pulp fiction, um...too many others to list
TV Show:: don't really have one
Singer/Band:: tom waits, supergrass, jeff buckley, the cure
Type of Music:: new wave, old punk, classic rock, brit bubblegum rock (early 60s), british invasion, early 90s alternative
Place to Hang out:: this coffee shop in middletown..ich liebe kaffe.

(22 "hero" has tried to "heroes" have tried to | stop a falling bomb)

[06 Jan 2004|12:43am]

[ mood | cynical ]

i watched the OC today for the first time and i was mildly amused, mostly annoyed...i'm getting tired of television that lacks diversity...it's sickening..where are all the people of colour...do we only exist on BET...oops correction...only people of African descent and Latin Americans exist on BET....Middle Eastern/South East Asian...we're only on the world news...

it really pisses me off to no end to watch and view things that do not represent any part of me except for the fact that i was born in north america. that being said, i'm still questioned at least once a day about my origin.

"where are you from?"
"No, I mean where are you from?" the second time around the question is exaggerated the way that people exaggerate for those who are hearing impaired....

i wonder what do all of you think? upon reading this...were you suddenly struck by the fact that television lacks racial diversity or did you always recognize it?

(11 "hero" has tried to "heroes" have tried to | stop a falling bomb)

.. [05 Jan 2004|08:14pm]

what do you think about gay and lesbian marriages??
i think that they should be allowed.. i mean..
would you rather have a drunken guy and a crack addict woman
be a child's parents? or two loving people of the same sex who
are nice,caring and loving.. i mean i think that people are just
afraid of new things.. well thats my opinion..

(3 "hero" has tried to "heroes" have tried to | stop a falling bomb)

I never really posted this so here goes... [03 Jan 2004|11:28pm]

Name:: Paul ARthur P. Jr
Age:: 16
Hometown:: (if this is talking about where I was born) Dallas, Texas. (if it is referring to my current residence) Anaheim, California (yes, I live behind the "Orange Curtain" and I detest it).
Hair Color:: dark brown/blonde
Eye Color:: Green
Height:: 6' 0" (I think don't quote me on that it's something right around there)
Siblings:: 2; 1 brother (Jeff), 1 sister (Julie)
Peircings:: none (yet?)
Tattoos:: none (yet.)

Color(s):: I like all colors.
Song:: impossible to answer.
Movie:: hard to say...
TV Show:: i don't watch tv...ever
Singer/Band:: cannot answer.
Type of Music:: classical/jazz/folk/world
Place to Hang out:: on the side of a mountain.

religion:: Zen Buddhist/Animist/Celtic Pagan
finances:: dosen't matter, as long as I'm satisfied, happy, and helping people and the environment.
political leanings:: left libertarian
favorite authors:: ohh, there's so many. i don't really seem to have a "favorite" anything, do i?

(2 "hero" has tried to "heroes" have tried to | stop a falling bomb)

[04 Jan 2004|02:43am]

Name:: Amber
Age:: 15
Hometown:: Meriden CT
Hair Color:: Brown,Red,Blonde,Black,
Eye Color:: Hazel/Brown
Height:: 5'3
Siblings:: 1 brother
Peircings:: 5 Holes in ears , belly button ..sorta closed..
Tattoos:: none ... yet

Color(s):: black,red,silver
Song:: bad religion..godsmack
Movie:: too many
TV Show:: amercian idol and tru calling
Singer/Band:: to many to list
Type of Music:: punk,rock,industral,emo,80's...
Place to Hang out:: home.. mall.. houses

(29 "hero" has tried to "heroes" have tried to | stop a falling bomb)

[01 Jan 2004|04:07am]

Do you think that it's ever too late to tell someone how you feel?
Do the real feelings ever really go away over time or do they always just linger waiting to be realized again?

(11 "hero" has tried to "heroes" have tried to | stop a falling bomb)

I feel like I'm applying for a job that doesn't suck... [30 Dec 2003|03:18am]

[ mood | Melting all over the place... ]

Hello everyone, this is me..

Name::Andy (Andrya)
Age:: 20
Hometown:: Enfield, Connecticut
Hair Color:: brown
Eye Color:: brown
Height:: 5'5
Siblings:: 2 of them, both teenagers, male.
Peircings:: 10g tongue, ears (14g cartilege, 5 holes each ear)
Tattoos:: lower back, it's tribal rose crap, and another one

Color(s):: black, metallic blue, red
Song:: yea right, like I could decide...
Movie:: shit, I can't pick this either
TV Show:: Viva La Bam (subject to change)
Singer/Band:: Acid Bath
Type of Music:: metal (death), industrial, rap, hardcore, punk, whatever
Place to Hang out:: As long as I'm not hanging in...

religion:: I sit right on the fence, completely neutral. I don't condemn, but I don't encourage. That way, no one can justify condemning ME.
finances:: I try to keep track of my own, I think I'm doing okay so far.
political leanings:: I'm too young for that yet...
favorite authors:: I read a lot of Charles Bukowski and various philosophers..

(16 "hero" has tried to "heroes" have tried to | stop a falling bomb)

well hello everyone [28 Dec 2003|08:50am]

hello, how are things?

little entrance surveyCollapse )

(14 "hero" has tried to "heroes" have tried to | stop a falling bomb)

ALFJDKEONF!!!!!!!!! [28 Dec 2003|04:23am]

[ mood | infuriated ]

Lol sorry about the last post, I accidently hit the wrong thing!!

As I was saying. In the community

bleedingemo  some of the members in there feel that because someone introduces themself as emo, they are a femo(meaning fake emo)?!? I'm not so sure how that works out. First off, isn't anyone already in the group saying there emo for joining a community bleeding emo. And saying someone is faking being emo is like those people who stop like a band because they get famous. I = don't understand why people are freaking out because someone introduced themselves as being emo!?! Are we not allowed to call ourselves that? So anyone who considers themselves emo, is actually not emo?? I dunno, maybe I make no sense, I just thought this was foolish

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